I am a person. I am human. I am loved by family. I am loved by God. I can’t trust my body. I am broken.
On certain days, I can feel my brain mis-firing. Some days, I don’t want to be here. Most days, I’m just trying to get through it. I was listening to a song by Watermark called Light of the World. It asks King Jesus to, “Shine on us.” It asks Jesus, to “Breath on us, Breath on us.”
God is aware of every tear we cry. This I know.
It seems very difficult to forgive someone who has done something that really damaged us in some way. But time has taught us that everyone receives what he or she deserves, even if we don’t…
A beautiful poem about joy by Sora Takayama … ———– Jump Jump The body’s pulse Jump The soul’s fugue Jump Over the horizon Jump Break through the dimension —̵…
Source: The joy of jumping in poetry… by @soramaruT share your passion, share your joy!
“Expect to encounter adversity in your life, remembering that you live in a deeply fallen world. Stop trying to find a way that circumvents difficulties.” – Sarah Young
Serve the Lord with gladness, come before His presence with singing. – Psalm 100:2
When I realized that pastoral ministry was not for me and that we are all called to some sort of mission, life began to change for me. My perspective on the world became less self-centered and more filled with anticipation. I anticipate God to move in my life, and He does. I don’t always like the way He does it, but it happens and I roll with it. Sometimes, I feel a part of the process and other times I don’t. For now though, I know that I am doing my best to hold it together, one day at a time. It’s just part of recovery.
Letting go of control is an issue for me. It’s probably a guy thing, but it’s like I’ve jumped off the high dive and I am in that moment when you’re in the air. Meanwhile, your gut and heart are bunched together. Stuck in a moment….
One of my favorite things to do is pray. It is when I feel the closest to God. It is when I tremble with fear over whether or not what I am doing is right, and God gently directs me. To broadcast it in a blog format doesn’t feel right in some ways, but it’s a promising resource so we’ll see how it goes. I don’t know why just writing this out in a journal or saving it somewhere doesn’t seem like enough. I guess my desire is that a special person will read this one day and experience the type of love I experience.
I read a devotion every day. Here is one of them by scriptureunion.org There is a challenge at the end of it, and I am going to work on this one today. I don’t always do this, but today is special.
Actually, rather than writing a psalm or song myself today. I’ll share a song from when artists still were paid their worth: God is always the bridge. You are not. Trust.
Be humble or be humbled. That’s one way God seems to discipline us. Epilepsy releases me from ego, but not from anger. Those are two different things: ego and anger. I’ve seen them on display, and I am sure you have too. There is much talk about ego today in the cosmos. There is much talk about a lot of things, but releasing one’s ego is certainly on the agenda of many. I have an ego or whatever you want to call it. I’m not sure there’s a name for it, but that’s the best word humanity has come up with so far. Thanks Freud. Ego can be a good thing. It can create a response from men and women to jump to action. Anger can be a good and bad thing too. Emotives, emotional responses….we’re not perfect people. I am always surprised that we seem to not be able to accept that reality. I know there are realities in my life I haven’t accepted. I know this because we all have blindspots, and they are called blindspots for a reason. Until they are pointed out, we are blind to them. The picture above is not a commentary on the Muslim faith by the way. I clarify because a picture is worth a 1000 words, and I don’t want those 1000 words to be misunderstood.
Every time I visit my epileptologist, I pass this church for the blind. I have this odd sense of humor. I laugh silently to myself because I think do the blind need a sign for their church? Aren’t disabilities hilarious?! I can tell when you aren’t joking.
I must go back to that Muslim point just for a moment since we live in violent times. There was a get together in my neighborhood a while back. I met a family, a Muslim family, a beautiful family. I got talking with a gentleman, and after our discussion he said he would pray for me. How shocked was I? Pretty taken aback….I guess it’s just part of that small town mindset, my diminutive mindset. God doesn’t live in your church. Yahweh, Emmanuel, lives everywhere.
Glad I got that out of my system….